HOw Sasuke stole Christmas!
by rurouni shadow
Summary: all the ninjas down in Konoha liked Christmas a lot...but Sasuke who looked down on Konoha did not! Christmas themed fic.


It was the night before Christmas and all was calm. Even in the Bowels of the akatsuki lair, There was a peacefull scene. In his room Itachi was reading quietly, in front of a small fire. But who should come knocking on his door but….Tobi??

"Itachi-sempai, Christmas!!!" tobi shouterd excitedly thoughout the room.

"not until tomorrow tobi…"

"Awww!" tobi paused for a second.

"Itachi-sempai, read me a story! A Christmas story!"

Itachi, if you didn't know him better, appeared to be smiling slightly. "alright Tobi…I have one…"

Itachi opened what looked like an old scrapbook and began reading.

"Every ninja down in konoha liked Christmas a lot, but Sasuke, who looked down on konoha did not! Sasuke hated Christmas! the whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why no one quite knows the reason. it could be his head wasn't screwed on right, or that his shoes were two sizes too tight. But i think the most likely reason of all, was that his heart was two sizes too small. But what ever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he sat there, hating Christmas and all ninjas, too.

Staring down from his cave with a sour, emo frown, at the warmly lighted windows of konoha town. for he knew every ninja in konoha beneath was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath. "AND THEIR HANGING THEIR STOCKINGS!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" then he growled, with his emo fingers drumming. "i MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"

for he knew, tomorrow, they'd all rush for their toys! and the noise! That's the one thing he hated! the noise, noise noise noise noise!!! then they'd all sit down and feast! On whole slabs of meat, or ramen with yeast! This was something sasuke couldn't stand in the least!

And then they'd to something he liked least of all, then all of the ninja, the tall and the small, would stand hand in hand, with Christmas bells ringing! And then after a moment, they'd all start singing! the more Sasuke thought, the more it would sting! He said" i must stop this whole thing! for 14 years I've put up with it now! I must stop it from coming, but how???"

Then sasuke got an idea! An awful idea! A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA!!! "I know just what to do!" he laughed in his throat, and he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled and clucked, "What a great sneaky trick! With this hat and this coat, I'll look just like St. Nick! All i need is a reindeer..." Sasuke looked around. but since reindeer are scarce, there were none to be found. did that stop the feind? no! Sasuke simply said, if i can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead! So he called his dog max, and he took some red thread, and tied some antlers to the top of his head. Then he loaded some bags and empty old sacks, and hitched up a sleigh to poor old max. Then sasuke hopped on and yelled, "Giddyap!" and the sleigh started down, to where the ninjas were asleep in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the ninjas were dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first house in the square. "This is stop number one," The old Sasuke Claus hissed as he walked up the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. a rather tight squeeze. but since he was a ninja, he did it with ease. he got stuck only once, for a moment or two. then he stuck his head out the fireplace flue where the little ninja stockings all hung in a row "these stockings are the first things to go! Then he slithered and slunk, in a manner unpleasant, around the whole room and took every present! Pop guns! And cookies! And puppets! And drums! And fans! And gourds! And a couple of plums! He stuffed them in bags then sasuke, very nimbly, stuffed all the bags, one by one up the chimney! Then he slunk to the icebox now for the feast! He took the BBQ! The ramen with yeast! He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a flash! he even took little Genin's special hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee! "AND NOW!" said Sasuke, "FOR THE TREE!!" and the emo grabbed the tree, and started to shove, when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. Caught by little hinata hyuga, hiashi's daughter, who had gotten up for a glass of cold water she stared at Sasuke and said "Santa Claus, why are you taking our tree? Why?" but this emo was so smart, and so slick he thought up a lie and thought it up quick! "why," emo Claus lied "my sweet little tot, there a light that doesn't work on one side, so I'm taking it back to my workshop, my dear. ill fix it up there and bring it back here." and his lie fooled the child and he patted her head, and gave he her drink and sent her too bed, then when she went back with her cup, he went to the chimney and began to climb up! Taking with him the log from the fire, the only thing left was some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food he left in the house was a speck much to small for even a mouse. he then did the same to the other guys houses! Leaving crumbs too small for those ninja's mousses! It was a quarter past dawn... all the ninjas asleep... all the ninjas a snooze. When he packed up this sled he packed the presents! the wrappings! the ribbons! the tinsel! the trappings! three thousand feet up, on the side of mount crumpet, he took the sleigh and got ready to dump it!

Heheheh!" he was evily humming "they're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! they're just waking up! i know just what they'll do! their mouths will hang open for a moment or two then they will all cry BOO HOO! That's a noise," he said, I simply must hear!" so he paused, and put a hand to his ear. he heard the sound rising and starting to grow, but the sound wasn't sad! no, it was MERRY! Very! He looked down at konoha. Sasuke popped his eyes! Then he shook! This was a shocking surprise! Every ninja in konoha, the tall and the small, was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same! And sasuke, with his emo-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then this emo thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" And what happened then...? Well...in konoha they say that the Sasuke's small heart Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light and he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! And he... ...HE HIMSELF...! The Sasuke served the ramen and a roast beast!"

"…the end.."

"Thanks Itachi-sempai! Did that really happen?"

"…maybe…"

Tobi seemed to remember something. He pulled a package out from his pocket and gave it to Itachi. "Merry Christmas!"

Itachi smiled warmly. "merry Christmas Tobi."


End file.
